Tuesday, June 28, 2011

spin spin

I have a new student, he's 12. Our lessons are early in the morning because apparently that's when he concentrates best.

Student is twirling in the spinning chair. spin spin spin spin spin..
I keep talking about grammar like I don't notice that I'm talking to a revolving head.
Every once in a while I will say something which makes him stop spinning.
"So if the sentence is My son is interesting, that's a linking verb which is -"
"You have a son?"
"Oh." spin spin spin spin spin "Good cause that would be weird."
"How old are you?"
"Well technically I'm old enough I could be your mom."
"OH. ew that's old." spin spin spin spin spin.

Sometimes he turns his chair to frantically scratch his crotch with a long comb for an uncomfortable number of seconds. I suppose his theory being that if he can't see me I can't see him. theory disproved.

And then every once in awhile, he tries hypnotism tricks on me. He imitates that British guy on youtube who does those mind games like paying with paper money and persuading people to hand him their wallet and keys.
Unfortunately for him, I've also seen it.

"So an example of a declarative sentence?"
"Give me your wallet."
"That's not a declarative but... oh."

That's when I realized the rest of the lesson would follow the format of youtube clip #1.

would be hypnotist: "I want you to think of a word. Wait no, I'm supposed to show you a card first so don't don't think of one! Are you thinking of one?!"
"No no don't worry."
"Uhh I'm going to flash this card at you and THEN you are going to think of a word."
"Oh I already know it.. the word is apple."
amazement. "How did you do that? You didn't even see the card!"
point for teacher.

"I want you to think of a blank television screen, now look at this word closely, and think of a c-"
"3 of diamonds."
"whoaaa i haven't even finished yet. how did you do that? You must have crazy Extra perception."

I know it's kind of cheating, but at least it has gained me temporary respect.