if my dissertation is a stone tied to my feet
time is the ocean rising.
and i am holding the scissors staring at the rope
but instead of sawing away -
the hours pass and
thinking of books
sitting in the sun
laughing at stephen colbert
going through my high school journals (that girl was funny)
writing about villains
watching vampires on my computer
running outside on the track (even that)
and i can't help but think of procrastination in the context of Se7en (i know this is an old movie, but I just saw it recently). which leads to more mind maps of punishments and fears of self-drowning, goldfish and impotent villains, and thinking of kevin spacey which leads to thinking of brunch - because i saw him at brunch once, he was with a male model, and i was surprised because i was thinking of american beauty and then the plastic bag scene and ordinary-ness, and then i think of summer days in new york and music and the park in the evening, mint mojitos, and the old men who play chess, and ...
all roads lead everywhere but to my thesis.